Even though the sun is out, I'm feeling under the weather, once again.
I thought I'd cheered up a little, but with the nice weather, comes my mother's crankiness to everything I do.
She forced me to shave my legs this morning, as we were going out to a restaurant to celebrate my Grandmother's birthday. I mean, I didn't mind shaving my legs, but looking back on it, tights would've been fine on my stubble. Even though I covered my legs in conditioner to shave, she rushed me, and I must've cut myself multiple times because my legs ended up looking like the famous 'bleeding tooth fungus', with the amount of dotted blood seeping from my pale skin.
She then forced me into a dress I haven't worn since last year, as I realised I fucking hated it after the first time I wore it. I look frumpy in dresses, as my frame has shrunk, so dresses usually look like a big sack on me. Oh so lovely..
I hadn't eaten by then, and I had no time to eat anything before we left, so I fainted in the car briefly, but I managed to play it off as a quick nap, as if I had told my parents I'd fainted, I wouldn't have been at all, which I didn't want to do, as I wanted my Grandmother to have a nice dinner all together as a family for once.
When we got to the restaurant, it was a quaint little place, in a Victorian cottage-esque theme, with little knick-knacks covering the walls and ceiling. The food they offered was lovely, but once again, my mother complained. It was a shame, as we were with the whole family, and she only seemed to make a fuss over everything and ruin my experience there. Needless to say, I don't think I'll even be allowed there again. I felt ill, so we left a little early, which was a shame.
We got home, and after all that, I had a nap in my Kigu, as my head was pounding from the heat and exhaustion I had been in. When I woke, I thought about some of the things I have been saving for and that I wanted to buy them with a shopping service soon. I prepared everything ready, and as I am not old enough to have a paypal account, I have to give the money to my Mother, as she's the only one with a paypal account. But when she saw the things I wanted to buy, only a few COCOLULU t-shirts and a ROSE FAN FAN cat bag, she instantly whined about how cheap quality they'd be, and how I'd never wear them or use them... The sole reason I'm buying those items is so I can wear them/use them fgs!
She complains why I have to buy them from Japan, etc. Well, mother, do you want a list?
1.) These brands interest me, and there is no English equvilant to those brands.
2.) Those items were on sale, and I chose them mainly because they were cheap.
3.) I looked on the english 'fashion' webstores for an equivalent item, and they had none, or if they did, they were a hella lot more expensive.
So I've given up, and I've decided I'm not wearing that frumpy dress anymore (currently in a crumpled pile at the bottom of the stairs) and I'll be finally happy when my 18th birthday rolls around, as she'll never be in charge of my personal expenses anymore. I'll be able to wear all the things I really want to wear, and she won't be able to stop me. She whines that I'll look back in the future and laugh at myself but.. What if I do? It'll just show that I was actually happy and free to wear what I want, I wouldn't have no shame at all.
Okay, I'll shut up now. I've been a big whiny idiot as much as my mother has today.
I'm going for a nap.
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